Being a jerk intentionally vs. unintentionally

In his famous sicho (second one here: “Conditional Guilt Offering”), the Rebbe says the following:

In general, sacrifices atone for sins committed unintentionally, for even a commandment violated unknowingly requires atonement. Although the person did not intentionally sin, the fact that his unconscious thoughts led to such behavior is an indication that he is spiritually lacking. For if he was not lacking, he would not have sinned, even unintentionally, as it is written: “No evil shall befall the righteous.”

A person is held responsible and therefore must bring a sacrifice for a sin committed unintentionally because it is his fault that he sinned. Before committing the sin, he conducted himself in a beast-like manner. This strengthened his animal soul, leading to his unintentional commission of a sin.

This reflects a further point. A person’s unconscious behavior what he does without thinking is often a powerful indicator of his nature, reflecting his fundamental concerns and sources of pleasure. A tzaddik derives pleasure from G-dliness, therefore his deeds involve good and holiness. When, by contrast, a person unknowingly commits a sin, this indicates that undesirable factors are his source of pleasure.


Indeed, from a certain perspective, the blemish generated by committing a sin unknowingly can be considered more severe than that resulting from the conscious commission of a sin. The fact that a person consciously performs a deed says nothing about the extent of his involvement. There are times when he does something willingly, but his heart and mind are elsewhere. But when an act is performed without conscious volition, it reveals something about a person’s true nature, telling us about the inner “I” that lies deeper than his conscious self. Instinctively, this inner “I” directs his conduct, leading him to perform certain deeds unconsciously.

This reminds me of what a chossid once said: “I almost prefer it that a person inconveniences someone intentionally, than if he does it because he doesn’t know better. In the first case, he knows full well the results of his actions — but, nu, he decided in this case to choose his own pleasure (or whatever it was). He knows he is acting as a jerk, just in this case he succumbed to his yetzer ho’rah. In the second case, however, he doesn’t even have a concept of thinking about what effect his actions will have on other people — it’s as if other people don’t exist.”

Recently, I found myself in agreement with the chossid. I was wondering about what is worse: when a person hurts someone intentionally or unintentionally (not accidentally, like stepping on someone’s foot — the hurt is a direct result of his actions and could be foreseen; just the person never gave it a second thought and never considered for a second he is actually hurting someone else; or, perhaps, someone else’s feelings did not matter). In both cases, it’s rather terrible, but perhaps the person is a worse human being in the second case...