Sunday, January 11, 2009

One more grudge against liberals — hats

(I always wondered: is this a fashion, or do these guys don’t know how to pick a hat size? For some reason, Lubavitchers don’t look like a sneeze will knock off their hat.)

Back in the day, all Americans wore hats.

Well, really back in the day, all Americans wore wigs, but even within the first post-Revolution generation, people realized that wigs are gay, so everyone just started wearing hats.

Until that moron got elected. I am talking about the “Don’t ask what your country can do for you, but just bend over and do your slave duty humbly and quietly” moron who almost caused Third World War (and eventually had to bend over in front of the Soviet Corn Head himself), couldn’t kick a small island’s butt, was a total international and domestic failure (as all Democrats) — and was the first President not to wear a hat.

Since the liberals starting from the idiotic history professor Woody turned this country towards socialism and the job of a President into that of a national icon and a nanny, everyone followed K’s suite — people stopped wearing hats.

Then, the “Broadback Mountain” contributed. Nowadays, wearing hats is not only old-fashioned but also gay. The only way you can pull off wearing a hat now is by being an Orthodox Jew or from Eastern Europe — thankfully, I am both.

But it still bothers me. Liberals ruin everything. Some people say we need to act against global warming. Some people say we need to act against increasing entropy in the Universe. I propose a new slogan: “Stop the liberals from destroying our civilization.” Or just “Stop the liberals”. How’s that for a bumper sticker (their favorite argument style, by the way)?

* * *

A liberal being assassinated by a Communist. How’s that for an irony?

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