Tuesday, September 28, 2010

News Headlines

...from 2035 (if the liberals have their way):
"Ozone from electric cars kills millions in world's seventh largest country, California"
"Minorities trying to get English recognized as nation's third language"
"Spotted owl plague threatens Northwest"
"Baby conceived naturally; scientists stumped"
"Iran still closed; physicists estimate ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels"
"Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars could be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking"
"George Z. Bush announces run for President in 2036"
"US Postal Service raises first class stamps to $18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only"
"New study: diet and exercise key to weight loss"
"Last conservative moves from Massachusetts"
"US Supreme Court rules punishing criminals violates their civil rights"
"Average NBA player over nine feet tall"
"Federal law requires registration of all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers"
"Congress authorizes direct deposit to campaign accounts of illegal contributions"
"Capitоl Hill intern indicted for refusing sex with congressman"
"IRS lowers tax rate to 70%"
[via ЗВЕРЬ]

G-d willing, our grandchildren will unearth this post and say: “Wow. This is what they feared the future would be like. Thank G-d the libertarians destroyed the government and set us free.”

P.S. While I was driving in the car, I had a thought that some Secret Service agent reading my blog may misconstrue the last sentence as a veiled threat to the President. Let me clarify: I am all for peaceful and victimless (not counting the bureaucrats’ paychecks) transfer to market anarchy.

6 comments:

e said...

I'm sorry, a lot of this stuff has nothing to do with the liberals "having their way."

e said...

subscribing

A Suede Ḥossid said...

Well, another Bush running for President may not. Although it takes a season of liberal presidency for the public to elect someone like Bush.

A Suede Ḥossid said...

Also, basketball player.

I thought the funniest headline was about the spotted owls.

A Suede Ḥossid said...

By the way, I may be spending Peisach in Skokie, be"H...

e said...

I will probably be spending pesach in skokie. Joy!