About shirayim

I heard a story over Yom Kippur. Why am I telling it now? a) Because I started sinning again. b) I remembered it after reading the beard post on Basement Blogging (if you’re going to spend time reading it, read also the comments).

A little background [if not interested, skip to the story below]: In most Chassidic groups, the Rebbe eats a little bit from his plate, and then his Chassidim come and take a peace for each. The source of this comes from the idea that everything that a tzaddik owns becomes holy too, since tzaddikim serve Eibeshter on the level of b’chol meoidecho (“with all your might”), which means that ther serve Hashem with everything they do, own or touch — and impart the essence of themselves on this. (Which is why, incidentally, Yakov Avinu had to return for the little vessels.)

So, whatever the Rebbe partakes of becomes holy. And then his Chassidim partake of it to attach themselves to the Rebbe.

Well, for number of reasons, this is not a custom of Chabad Chassidim. In short, you attach yourselves to the Rebbe b’pnimiyus, not b’chitzoinius. By studying his teachings (which the Rebbe makes accessible for the Chassidim), not by holding on to his gartel. Even though elements of attaching oneself to the Rebbe through chitzoinius also exist in Chabad (after all, chitzoinius is part of the equation), pnimiyus is the ikkar.

Anyway, the story goes that a Jew from a different Chassidic background became a Lubavitch chossid, but did not know yet that in Chabad they don’t do shirayim. So, when he was in the presence of the Frierdiker Rebbe, as soon as the Rebbe started eating, he came over and attempted to take some food from the Rebbe’s plate. The Rebbe smiled at him and gave him the shirayim and then said: “By others, getting shirayim is a privilege. By us, getting shirayim is also a responsibility.”

* * *

Which brings me back to the topic of shaving. When my boss started wearing a beard (which he doesn’t wear anymore), one of my colleagues jokingly remarked that everybody else should shave. A similar idea exists, lehavdil, in certain communities. Only the rabbi wears a beard, since it is considered to be the honor, and everyone else shaves (with electric razor) or trims.

In Lubavitch, this idea is not considered to be appropriate for a few reasons:

Specifically about the beard —
1) Shaving or trimming down the beard is halachically forbidden due to a teshuva of Tzemach Tzedek, since shaving makes one to be like women. More about it here.
2) Since beard is a symbol and a counterpart (in human body, which is created “in the image of G-d”[’s spiritual “body” or “interface” in the upper worlds]) of Thirteen divine Attributes of Mercy, it does not make sense to cut the hairs of the beard. More about it here.
3) Beard is a sign of fear of Heaven (especially Lubavitch beard, which is clearly not worn for stylistic reasons). In the same famous teshuva, Tzemach Tzedek paskens that if a shochet moves from Russia to Germany and start removing his beard, one may not buy his meat (since he apparently experience a lowering of yiras shomayim), even though one may buy meat of the German shochet who had always shaved. More about it (and in general about the beard) here.

About the idea of setting the leader apart —
4) We honor the Rebbe by following his example. The Rebbe is set apart by the fact that we consider his opinion on Yiddishkeit and life in general a law and his teachings a recipe for bringing this world to its goal and purpose — revelation of G-dliness in this world with coming of Geula. Not by some external shtick.