tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-924316815185498346.post4723274982590519436..comments2023-12-24T16:36:39.633-05:00Comments on V = I·R: Leaving options openAnarchist Chossidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04129716759837282565noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-924316815185498346.post-37216950058821171012011-11-30T21:39:25.922-05:002011-11-30T21:39:25.922-05:00I once heard a Baal-Shem-Tov story (or other Rebbe...I once heard a Baal-Shem-Tov story (or other Rebbe miracle story) whose punchline was that this chick ended up married to a total am ha'aretz and her brothers were pissed. Said the Rebbe, "He's her bashert. Deal with it." And the brothers made him into a talmid chacham.ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04376537400767851942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-924316815185498346.post-47938187395950935452011-11-30T11:01:56.641-05:002011-11-30T11:01:56.641-05:00The general point is that the longer a couple date...The general point is that the longer a couple dates, the more details they inevitably find out about each other. Some of those things may be issues of "compatibility", but those things can be worked on during marriage -- and should be worked on during marriage, as opposed to during dating. Because if they start to be worked on during dating, each person is still single. Once the couple are committed to each other, it's easier to see the need to compromise.<br /><br />So, the way to do it is make a list of important things that are crucial to know before one marries a person and discuss them right away (starting second-third date). If everything matches up and one feels some sort of emotional connection to the person, one should go ahead and think seriously about committing. Waiting for an indefinite amount of time until one "finds out enough" is not right.<br /><br />At least in theory, that is how it works in many communities. In practice, it doesn't always work out that way.Anarchist Chossidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04129716759837282565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-924316815185498346.post-35287074586132361392011-11-30T10:56:08.915-05:002011-11-30T10:56:08.915-05:00I think it's for a given couple/person/communi...I think it's for a given couple/person/community to decide.<br /><br />For instance, whether a husband snores or how often he goes out drinking with his buddies (if at all) can be worked out after the wedding. It's something that is theoretically can be worked out within the context of marriage.<br /><br />Whether the couple will eat only kosher food and on what level of kashrus should probably be decided before they decide to marry. Because such things as religious observance determine the make-up of the whole marriage. Many of the things that are considered issues of "compatibility" in modern secular culture do not.Anarchist Chossidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04129716759837282565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-924316815185498346.post-51497129472268920752011-11-30T10:36:48.163-05:002011-11-30T10:36:48.163-05:00Can you please be more specific instead of just sa...Can you please be more specific instead of just saying "Issues", What are the main issues that a couple should know before going into a marriage and what red flags should they be looking for throughout the dating process and what are the "Issues" that can be worked out during your marriage. sorry if your hinting to something that I should know what your talking about I just don't get what your trying to say.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com